Am I the only one...

...who wishes Mad Men was on all the time? Everyday, all day? I just luuuurve it. What does this say about my ideas of feminism, systematic oppression of minorities and chauvinism?

Absolutely nothing. It's an effing good show. And frankly, it's a testament to how much reality TV has made me hope and wish for something like this show. Seriously, I wonder whether it's actually not a good show at all, but with my options being limited to conjured "real" drama, my tastes have wildly decreased to just wanting to watch a show that doesn't remind me of how I hate people.

Top 10 reasons Mad Men rules all:

10. The guy's name is Don Draper. Seriously, the best name since Clark Kent. Best part is that it's not his real name. He's playing the part of the guy with the cool name, which it makes it extra crazy cool.
9. Smoking is bad for you, but still cool. The warnings are more in line with not swimming 30 minutes after you eat than with "you're gonna die! you're gonna die!" (Although I like how the writers always have someone waking up and hacking up a lung, nice foreshadowing guys)
8. Bartenders know drinks. I know it's a show and it's not like they're going to write in "Phil" the new midwestern bartender who's still learning his Singapore Sling from his Hurricane. It's nice that the cocktail was just beginning to really catch on and none of the stupid frat-boy date rapist drinks were popular. Come on, when was the last time you ordered an "Old Fashioned" and the bartender didn't go thumbing through the "The Idiot's Guide to mixing drinks". Whereas you ask for a 'Buttery Nipple" and he asks "Hairy or Plucked?"
7. The show is about character development, not plot. Which is like a dream come true. What? Get to know the characters and not follow them through some predictable cliched storyline? Never. For those of us that love movies like Before Sunrise, this is a very very good thing.
6. I love how utterly hopeless and triumphant Betty is. She's crazy, but not I'm gonna drown my kids crazy, she just epitomizes and gives life to the bored housewife that really wants to be found interesting but has nothing to offer but her looks and 90-minute modeling career.
5. Duuuude. Peggy. She's either going to mow people down with a machine gun one of these days, spin her head a la Linda Blair Exorcist or get promoted over everyone. She's business. Monster trapped in the body of a girl scout cookie trapped in the mind of Lee Iococa with a side of Heather Chandler. Can't wait to find out what she's about.
4. Joan, AKA, Big Boobs McGee -- personification of what a woman's ideal used to be -- What? You can't see her ribs through her lycra spandex tank! What a fatty! I just love that a full figured woman is worshipped and not labeled "full figured". Take that Kate Moss!
3. Drinking, smoking and working all at the same time did not mean you were a stripper, prostitute, pimp, drug dealer or homeless window washer. Martinis? 10AM? Board Meeting at 10:15? Yes please, oh and here let me light that for you..
2. No one famous has made a cameo -- I like the anonymous appeal of the cast. There is no "On the next Mad Men, a very special episode with guest star George Clooney as you've never seen him before..."
1. It's not effing reality TV. There are real writers, real dialogue, real actors and no 15 minutes of fame. Yay AMC.

What to Expect..

So I bought and read the "What to Expect Before You're Expecting" and I've got an announcement I think everyone needs to hear who has not read this book. You should not smoke pot while you are pregnant, or even while you're trying to conceive. How is it possible that millions of women have gone through their pregnancies without ever reading this book?
Seriously. Dude. Duuuude.

What's really great is that the book doesn't ever say "Effing stop smoking pot, you crack whore!" -- It tries to passively convince the reader that smoking pot isn't at all healthy for you or your baby, but never quite drives the point home like I would have expected. I'm waiting for the you shouldn't throw yourself down a flight of stairs when you're pregnant chapter.

For my next blog: "Common sense and you - stop being a dillhole"

Hand building and wheel

On Saturday, I'm going to my first sculpting class since highschool. I'm super excited because I remember really enjoying it when I was a teenager, but not being able to afford it in college. I went to Armadillo Clay today and it's this nifty shop on East 4th that made me want to be a starving artist. I wouldn't let myself walk around because I knew I would end up with a bunch of stuff I wouldn't know how to use and end up killing my budget. But at some point I will go back just to wander through. I love bottles of color, I'm just not very good at making them look like something realistic. When I'm painting anyway. So hopefully the ceramicist inside me will take over, maybe this is what I'm supposed to be doing. You know, throwing pots and getting tired of all the "Ghost" references people throw at me. You never know, I might be the next... um... Michaelangelo? Rodin? I guess sculptors only get famous once they are really, really dead. I think painters get famous right after they die -- look at Jean Michele Basquiat right? He died and bam! Seriously, four years after his death, his work was displayed at the Whitney and he was suddenly renowned for his neo-expressionist graffitti art. Really? Yup. 10 years after his death one of his paintings sold for 3 million dollars. And then Metallica man Lars Ulrich beat it in 2002 by buying one for over 5 million. Hmm, I think to be true artist's artist you have to die of something accidentally, like an overdose, or a family member losing control or in some kind of transatlantic wreck. I think only one of those would apply to me. But be forewarned family! If I rule at pottery, I'm changing my will to have all my assets and future earnings as Sculptor Laureate bestowed to stem cell research IF I am killed by a family member. So don't get any ideas!

Okay, so I'm not.

Pregnant that is. And I'm fine with that. There was a 1-2% chance anyway and if you know me, you know I've never fallen into that percentage ever.

I just wish I had an easy explanation for why I've been so damn exhausted for the past week. It's exhausting being exhausted. And for hypochondriacs like me, the worst possible thing is not knowing why you're sick.

I'm pretty burnt out from work as you could probably tell from my last blog, but it has never made me physically ill before. I must be allergic to teleconferences. There goes my promotion..

I'm off for a 90 minute massage tonight. The peeps at Massage Envy called me and said "um, Mrs. Camp? You have 5 pre-paid hour massages, would you like to use one?"

I'm just not taking care of myself. You know I haven't had a real pedicure (ie, not me scraping my feet in my mini tub) since I got married? WTF? Apparently, after you get married your toes can get as gnarly and cuticley as ever without any consequences. It's not that I don't like pedicures, I do. But I really liked this chic up on Anderson Mill, her name was Lisa and she was awesome. So I don't wanna have to do my research to find a good pedicurist who doesn't talk shit about me in Vietnamese while she's shaving my callouses. Anyone got suggestions for South Austin manipedi?

I can't wait for my massage. I'm so tense that parts I never thought could get tense are tense. Like my chest..That's right. My boobs are tense. What? TMI? Okay, fine. Not really my boobs, whatever muscle is under my boobs and to the side of them which is not armpit fat is tense.

Oh! I'm gonna be late! Gotta go!

Burnout Baby

Dude. I am so done with everything. I need a vacay so bad I sometimes find myself longing to be cramped up in a smelly airplane. Seriously.

What's weird is I'm not even cooking or baking. And I always want to cook or bake. I'm not depressed or anything because when I'm depressed I don't wear makeup and I want to lay around all day. I'm not averse to doing something, I'm just not in the mood to be motivated to do something. Even write this blog.

As my colleagues in the UK say, I need a holiday.

Meat Extravaganza with Meaty Goodness included

On Saturday night, Aaron and I threw a party for our friend Walt's birthday. The theme was MEAT. That's right MEAT. We bbqed most of the day and fed people at around 6:30 -- we had brisket, pulled pork, pork country ribs, bbq chicken (which spend a little too much time on the grill and became blackened) and elk burgers. We had an awesome time prepping all the food and grilling.

The Brisket - it was good, but didn't get the smoke ring, we need to leave it on longer next time
The Pulled Pork - so good, and so cheap
The Country Ribs - okay these were the sleeper hit.. Aaron seared them in a dutch oven with a mess load of onions, then he added water and bbq sauce to cover for and let it come to a boil. It then simmered for an hour. We took it off the heat and threw them on the grill for awhile. Then we stuck them in the oven to keep warm once it had a nice bark on the outside. Oh. My. God. They were juicy and tender and made me never want to resounce eating pork.
The Chicken - it was a little heavy on the carbon -- we couldn't taste the spices I worked into the legs because they were so burned!
The Elk - yes Elk! I mixed ground elk with chopped roasted garlic (not the kind in a jar, the real stuff!), worchestire, salt and black/red pepper. These burgers grill up tender and juicy and have great non-gamey flavor -- plenty of meaty goodness and the garlic was fantastic

I also made some asparagus that the guys "accidentally" burned on the grill, whole sweet potatoes (one which I ate at 3AM before passing out) and some potato salad (with cumin, red onion, cilantro, sour cream, mayo and whole grain mustard).

What was also awesome was the bbq sauce I invented that evening. The not so awesome part is I have no idea how I made it. I started off making a vinegar sauce. I sauteed some grated onion and roasted garlic and then added 2 cups of vinegar. To that I added a few squirts of ketchup, brown sugar, worchestire, black pepper, salt, seasoned salt, indian ground red pepper, chipotle powder, and dry mustard. Well that ended up tasting pretty good and then I thought about the fact that most of the meat we were making would taste better with a tomato base. So added about a can of tomato sauce. That effed up my flavor, so I had to start over with the spicing. I'm pretty sure it was a combination of the spices and sugar above, but I didn't measure anything. After being satisfied with all the crap I added, I went and sat down and left the sauce on simmer. About an hour later I checked it and it turned into this amazingly delicious sauce. I then proceeded in trying to kick my own ass for not writing down what I put in it. I'm not sure I can replicate it ever again, but the attendees of the party will surely have tasted something special that night and it will live on in all our memories.

I also made my pay off pitch dessert, the chocolate almond souffle torte (if you're interested in the recipe, it's on epicurious). I made it the first time back in '97 out of a Bon Appetit magazine. Aaron requested I make a raspberry sauce to go with it along with the usual almond whipped cream. I must say it took the dessert from extraordinary to "holy crap! You're a god!"

We all enjoyed ourselves very much, including smoking some apple mint tobacco out of the hookah my parents bought us (yes, my parents). I also made some blood orange margaritas which are very pink and festive -- thanks to Max for the recipe. I have not gotten tipsy in awhile, so it was really nice to be able to drink too much, hang out and talk to friends and then go pass out in my bed. It was also very nice to know that I had no obligations on Sunday and could vegetate in my hungover state.

Our house is a very very very fine house

Our offer got accepted on a house in Onion Creek that we both love! It's completely nuts and I'm sort of freaking out in all kinds of ways.

Here are the specs:

• Downstairs pretty much has floor to ceiling windows in any room you're in



• It has a mini-atrium out the dining room



• Saltillo tile downstairs, ceramic in kitchen, carpet in bedrooms



• 3 bedrooms, master on ground floor



• 2 1/2 baths



• 2600 sq. feet



• A friggin hot tub and inground pool!!!!!!



• A view to die for
  

Aaron and I were able to get a pre-approved loan through the VA with no downpayment with what will probably be a 5% interest rate or less. I'm totally buggin about the fact that we may be homeowners in less than a month. There's so much excitement I'm going to bust. The seller accepted our offer last week and I can't believe everything is moving so fast.

I'll tell you, just with signing paperwork for the loan I feel like a total grown up. Plus, I'm not used to my new signature which looks like SPCamp so I had to think about it each time I signed one of the 50 billion pieces of paper work.

The inspection went well, a few repairs needed prior to closing, but nothing disastrous, ie, no foundation, roofing or other structural damages. Yay. Now for appraisal and negotiations on what we need fixed (ie, who pays for what) -- oh and getting fully approved for the mortgage.